Review: The Expectation Gap Series

Yesterday's church service at Elevation Church was really powerful- so much so- I can't keep it to myself. Nor do I want to condense what I want to say in a short status update on facebook- or twitter.

It's been awhile since I've 'blogged,' - and I may start writing my thoughts, idea's and opinions about becoming a stronger Christian in my journey as a writer, an athlete, an aunt, and a single woman living on Lake Norman. I'm hoping to add some humor in the mix of the messes I'm living through.

In the last three weeks, our Pastor has been talking about "The Expectation Gap" - and what to do when our experiences don't meet our expectations.
Before I tell you about yesterday's service, I have to bring up the last two weeks.

I
The first week was powerful because Pastor preached how to deal with people when they don't meet our expectations. He broke it down into five "tweetable" points:

We can't expect to get what we don't express.
If' we're not willing to express our wants, needs and desires no one can deliver. People are not mind readers, and we shouldn't expect them to just give.If we are not bold in our prayers, we may not get the answer we want from God.

I am not authorized to negotiate anyone's relationship with God.
I believe that point is self explanatory.

 I must resist the temptation to draft others into my dysfunction.
As an athlete, I learned a long time ago that what I love to do in the gym, some others may not like it. Not everyone wants to train to run a 5 or 10K, or a half marathon. Nor do people want to lift weights, or practice yoga- and most importantly, no one wants to wake up early to workout. It's a life-long lesson to be patient with others who do not share my passion to exercise. It's difficult to do when other's have really strong, and negative opinions about my passion, my motivation, and my commitment.  More importantly, I've yet to understand why I don't meet more athletes- and why do I meet more nay-sayers? Living healthy is a lifestyle, just like being a follower of Christ. Living in his will, and living in his ways is a challenge- as is living like an athlete. I have to admit, I do not get along well with lazy people. But I must remind myself to be patient and to not bring people down to my dysfunction.

My greatest source of my frustration with others is my confusion of God's expectations of me.
When was the last time I evaluated what God wants of me? Do I know my calling? Do I know my purpose? How can my purpose be a person- when we really shouldn't set goals on other people?
Trying to meet the expectations of others is my flawed vision of what God wants from me. I need to set my sights on things above and let go of the opinions of fickle people.

Don't let what I expect keep me from what God wants me to experience. 
It's simple. Don't let what I thought life should be stop me from experiencing the life God is giving to me.

II
In the second week, Pastor preached about the challenges we face when God's does not meet our expectations. We sometimes feel as though God ignores us, other times, God's answer to our prayers is no.
It is hard to pray when we have to experience the death of a loved one. In the past five years, I've been to more funerals than I've been to weddings, or baby showers. I've experienced more heartache, then happiness. My "joie de vie" has been sucked out of me and I've almost disconnected with life altogether.
However, I've come to be thankful that I didn't get what I deserved. I've made a lot of mistakes; I've made a lot of bad decisions- but in reality- my decisions,and mistakes were not so repulsive that I'm beyond forgiveness from people, and from God. I must remember, I'm a good person and I try to the best of my ability. I do what I can with what I have. I'm thankful that God has protected me when I probably didn't deserve it. I should be thankful that some of the brightest days of my life these past three years were that I got to do what I've dreamed of doing. I got a taste of what it feels like to make my dreams come true- I just need to figure out "how" to keep living that dream.
 I must also remember that if God always answered my prayers with a yes- and I got everything I asked for- then I wouldn't be learning anything. I can't leave God, or stop praying because times are tough.
I do not know why my grandfather committed suicide; or why my niece died in 2008. Why did my aunt die from a rare cancer six months after being diagnosed? Questions without answers- but I guess I can't quit praying.

III

Yesterday, Pastor Steven Furtick preached on how to never be controlled by the expectations of others.
It's important to first realize that they disappointments we face may be a direct result of our own doing. But there are people who will never be happy- not matter how hard we try or how often we tell them we care.
I know that I've always had to struggle with other's opinions of me. Like everyone else, I want to fit in; I want to be liked...and when choosing a life in the entertainment business such as modeling, sports, and writing- other's will have a lot of opinions. There's a lot of negativity when you put yourself out there for the world to see.
It's amazing how people perceive a fitness model- and how so many people don't realize the connection there is between training hard- disciplining your diet and  lifestyle. Success in the gym starts in the kitchen, and at home. How you live your life will determine how strong you are as a runner, a weightlifter, and in your general health.
People will always have an opinion of you when you compete as a model in a bikini, and when you train to run 10Ks, and train to participate in the sports.
I could write a 500 page book on the journey of a writer- especially when you choose an elite sport like NASCAR. I'll leave you with that, and I won't bore you with all the details of the challenges a writer faces. As a matter of fact, that 500 page book has already begun and is in editing phase three.


I learned that I need to renegotiate my relationships with people- and my priorities. I need to stop giving in to people who do not deserve me. I need to remember that I am living to please no one but God, and I need to set my sights on things above and let go of the opinions of fickle people.

I must remember that when someone has a negative opinion, I must respond with "Thank you, and yes you are entitled to your opinion BUT I am entitled to ignore you and to continue my journey. Unless you have the power to raise me from the dead, you do not have the power to judge me."

I must remember that when I put Jesus in the seat of honor, the objections of others lose their weight.

It is important to look beneath the insult- and look at the insecurity of the one bringing me down. It's also possible to look beneath the insult to see the pain the antagonist is going through. Because the insults from others is not about me.

Remember, where I choose to go to church, how often I pray, how often I exercise, and train for a 5K, how healthy I eat - is what I'm doing because that is what God called me to do. I'm not doing this for anyone else.

I must remember I'm a Christian- that does not mean I'm perfect. I'm not above others. I will make mistakes, I will contradict myself. I will experience pain- and I will eventually, one day experience happiness again.

My journey is an everyday process that is both painful and beautiful.