Friday, April 29, 2011

Sure I'm sheltered from horror movies but not real life

I once dated a guy that told me I was sheltered because I didn't watch horror movies growing up. Although there's some truth to that, I was appalled to hear him continue to ask me, "What are you going to do if someone tries to attack or rape you? If you don't watch horror movies, then you can't possibly learn how to defend yourself."
It was at that moment I knew I needed to break up with this bone head. This guy comes from a small deserted town in Upstate, New York that no one I know has heard of.
I on the other hand have moved from one country to another, had to learn to speak English in kindergarten, didn't have a lot of friends; watched my dad build his company from the ground up; moved a lot during my adulthood; took public transportation in big cities like Boston, Montreal and New York City; I lived in the city; survived an abusive relationship (or two) and a countless of other experiences.
When I moved to the city of Boston, Massachusetts, I took a self defense class at the Cambridge Police Department; the exciting part of that experience, I was with the ladies of Jamn 94.5, Pebbles and other radio employees. None the less, I've taken more than one self defense class as well as many writing and movie classes.
What I learned in movie class is how a horror movie is made and how real life violence unfolds are two different experiences.
For starters, horror movies are a part of a persons imagination and they are rehearsed as well as video enhanced.
No matter how I told the ex this, he still tried to argue that watching horror movies made you less sheltered.
I'm confused, someone who sits on his ass, smoking dope and cigarettes, drinking, feeling sorry for his self all the time while watching horror movies is less sheltered then someone who's been around a few different countries, states, people and lived to experience it all in person (instead of watching it on TV).
Wow, I guess you do learn something new everyday.
With all sarcasm aside, I don't see the point to horror movies.
I know why they are done though. The true purpose of horror flicks are:
1. To explore your fears.
2. To explore the deepest part of your conscience.
3. To be able to do something illegal, legally. In other words, fake killing someone your mad at.
4. To scare the crap out of yourself and friends.

I've never heard or been told that horror movies were made to teach you how to defend yourself.
In horror movies, you can have a person hang off a cliff as deep as the Grand Canyon by a string as thin as floss and they won't fall off.
Try that in real life, I dare you and when you survive, tell me how that worked out for you.
The point I'm really getting at is this, the people who never watched a horror movie but who got up and lived their life by moving and experience different places and meet different people are not more sheltered then those who have been sitting on the couch their whole life, never leaving the small town their mama raised them in and have seen every horror movie ever made since they've been in diapers.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Live and let....die?

Who decides when we die?
Are doctors and nurses qualified to determine our life span? Are we the ones who choose to let our loved ones live longer or let them die?
There comes in a time in our life when were faced with that very difficult decision. It could happen to someone we love so much when they are young or it could happen when they are as old as 93. No matter how old, pulling the plug can be the most difficult decision ever made.
Doctors are trained to preserve life; keep them plugged in until there's no possible way they will live longer. Some people have been on life support as long as 14 or 16 years I believe. Those people were young though and the families had hope.
What are we really doing to the one who is one life support? Are we really doing them a favor when they are a vegetable?
In a nursing home, I've seen elderly people laying in bed, starring at the ceiling, unable to move, talk, react to my conversation; wipe their own ass nor do they know if they are sitting in their own shit; they are unaware that their being fed and unaware of who I am. They may smile when a family or a loved one walks in; or sometimes, they'll look up when you turn the light on above their bed. They still see and bright light near their eyes is still disturbing to them as it is to us.
They can't move and dead weight is so hard to move; try turning them to their back when they can't control their limbs, legs will kick out without their doing, it's sad but it happens. They do feel, so when turned, they moan or let out a muffled scream because they do not know what is happening.
Is it right to let our loved ones live like that? For them to lay down, with tubes in their throat, mucus spilling out of the tube every ten minutes or so; forcing the nurses to clean them every one or two hours; their skin bruising every time you touch them. Is it right to make them live in fear or make them look like a breathing corpse?

Some elderly don't even have tubes, they are breathing on their own and they are just waiting and waiting. Sometimes, if they refuse more than one meal or more than one drink in less than day, a doctor will order IV's.
In my experience, I've learned that if someone refuses to eat all day, they will die within 24 hours.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a dying person? I have. The ones plugged in or living like vegetables have pleading eyes, begging, "let me go, let me go." The ones who live day to day on their own, still able to sit up, talk and move around have pleaded to die.
Have you ever tried to help a patient relax as they knew their day was near?
When people are admitted to a nursing home, they know their days are numbered. Some are relaxed and enjoy their days and try to live as happy as possible; some will ask to go outside for one more cigarette or maybe two servings of ice cream.
Others will want to die, they'll look at you and say, "I don't want a shower; I don't want to eat, I just want to go."
Some of them, will be scared and cry, "No, no please please don't let me die, please."

Have you ever tried to feed a patient in hopes that they would regain their strength to live one more day? Have you ever held the hand of someone before they left us?
If they were animals, we'd help them die peacefully but they are humans and we try to let them live longer and longer unaware of the real true pain the patient must be feeling as we feed them more soft liquids called 'thickened' or IV's and breathing machines.
Losing your dad, mom, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, son, daughter, friend is hard but is it harder for them to make them live in pain and terminal illness or to let them live in a nursing home lifeless, immobile and helpless?
The ones we loved have lived but sometimes as much as it breaks my heart to say this, sometimes we need to let them die.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Change takes time...

Change is scary but good for the soul.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I'm scared. To make a long story short, I lost a job and found another one almost right away - only because I allowed myself to try a new field.
Sure, my dream is to quit the day job to be a full time writer but until then, I still have to pay the bills so I need to work where they are hiring.
I'm looking into going back to college to concentrate more in Communications - Journalism and probably Public Relations and or Public Advocacy - right now, that thought is inline and there's time to decide.
What I've accepted is a job in nursing as an aide. It's not something I love to do and not something I see myself doing for a very long time. I also can't picture myself spending the rest of the year working for this low of a salary and on second shift. I've considered changing to the nursing field- trust me- if all else fails and I'm still wearing scrubs in 5- 7 or 10 years from now, it'll be because I got my LPN or even my RN and I'll move on to another health care facility.
It's not the health care field that I find a problem with - it's the schedule. I love promoting health care and helping people live a better life. I wouldn't mind learning how to draw blood (then I'd be allowed to volunteer for the American Red Cross) or learning to administer medicine - but- everyone I know says they don't picture me doing that.
I'm scared to do this.
I'm an arts, sports and entertainment and social media kind of girl.
My schedule is different, I'm now on second shift and sitting around the house in the day time until 2ish is distracting. I have to re-adjust my writing and work out time. I also have to find away to work weekends - that's so scary.
Right now, I'm pacing and trying to control myself, to not spend too much time on Twitter or Facebook and trying to focus on writing but it's a fail for the day.
I reminded myself earlier that even GOD (who I do believe in) took 6 days to create the Earth, so I guess, I should cut myself some slack.
I should give myself a week or two to adjust. I'm starting to see benefits to working 3-11 shift.

1. Now that it's summer time, I can hang out in the sun, swim and have my sister and niece over for play time.
2. I can go shopping earlier in the day.
3. I can go to the library.
4. I can train my brain to write during the day, that way, if God allows it, I do get hired to write full time - I know how to focus on writing during the busy day time, instead of the quiet early mornings or midnight hours.
5. I can focus on contacting and networking with other writers.
6. I can go back to school to focus on what I want during the day time. I'm more alert in the mornings so maybe this will eventually work itself out.

I've yet to find any benefit or 'pro' to work on weekends.
I'll miss a race every other weekend. As a NASCAR (aspiring) writer - that's very bad.
I have to plan my weekends far in advance.
If something is going on, I have to ask for the weekend off in hopes that someone will switch a shift with me.

I know I won't miss going out to parties so I'm cool with that - but the idea that I have to plan so far ahead to enjoy my weekends is disturbing - especially in the summer time (I doubt I'll care much in the winter). I hope to find some peace with it.

Change is scary but certainly good.

Friday, April 01, 2011

Use Common Sense to help your friends:

If you see a friend or a family member going through the most difficult days and you’re trying to help them through; there are some things you should keep in mind to keep the peace.
When faced with a challenge, the only person affected is the one going through the tough times. Not you.
You will see the light brighter then they will and you may see ways to change a bad thing to make it better but try to remember, you’re not going through whatever challenge your friend/family is going through.
They have personal rights; a right to privacy and sometimes, they just want to get through their challenge, their way. They may even want to face it all alone until they can't handle it anymore.
To avoid severe arguments, blow ups and to save the friendship, here are some thoughts of what you should probably NOT do, when trying to help.
1. Never yell at them
2. Never blame
3. Never remind them of their past mistakes or hard times.
4. Do remember, they see the light lit dimmer then you; they may not see the end of the tunnel, so stop antagonizing them.
5. Do let them see their own light and let them remember their own past. If they remember good times, let them remember that.
6. Do listen, that’s all you can do.
7. Don’t be the one to remind them of how much worse it can be – they can see the bad very clearly and they probably can see it worse than you can.
In the end, times are tough. The best advice I can give you to help someone you care about, use your common sense and treat them as you would want them to treat you when your shit hits the fan.