Saturday, October 20, 2012

Five Kahne race re-cap: Making peace w/my bad run

On Sunday October 14th (2012),  Kasey Kahne hosted his 3rd annual Five Kahne 5K, and I obviously attended. It was my first year attending alone, and it was the first year I didn't attend as a member of a media  site I wrote for so I did not take pictures, notes or try to steal some 'quote' for a news article I'd later write. I have to honestly admit, it was nice to not stand in front of Kasey shoving a camera or microphone/voice recorder in his face. It's also nice to not have to call him Kahne  (but I probably will); and I enjoy writing without having to mention that the Enumclaw, Washington native drives the No. 5 Farmers Insurance Chevrolet for NASCAR's top team, Hendrick Motorsports (but as you see, I did that. It's a habit).
It was the first year I made this 5K all about me. Sure I was one of 450 runners to help raise money for his Foundation, which is estimated to have raised over $50,000 for organizations such as Ronald McDonald House, Make a Wish, Victory Junction; and I did offer my time to volunteer for three hours on two separate days but that's just me, being me.

This is my public diary entry about the event. In other words, I'll be breaking grammar rules in this post (I doubt I'll do that  often).

Another one of my firsts for this 5K is that I set a PR goal (personal record). I honestly trained and dieted specifically for this event - I wanted to make this one the best and most memorable for me. A few months ago, after a good run and feeling overzealous from that 'runners high,' I stupidly tweeted that I was going to run as fast as (if not faster than) Kahne. Okay not in those words but it was something close to and probably more stupid than that. I have a tendency to say/tweet stupid things. You see, 32 year old Kahne can run 3.1 miles in 18 minutes. That's setting the bar high for me. (Side note for those who care, he finished in 22:05).

Training:

I have been running for a very long time. I started to run daily four years ago. I never once set a goal for time and distance. I never once cared about 5Ks or 10Ks or half marathons. In 2010, I ran my first 5K (for Kahne's 5K) and only cared about finishing - the second time I ran, that's all I cared about too; especially since the night before, I was at Charlotte's Bank of America 500 (race) until 2 AM. So I ran off adrenaline - dehydrated and tired.
I run outside, and I don't have a 'tracker' or a clock. It was in July that I started to pay attention to the miles - I wanted to run 3 miles at least once a week. Then I learned that I was running about two miles every other day, so that's when I started to get competitive with myself. I found out about dailymile.com and started mapping out my routes. I was setting distance goals and recording my time. I tried to run on the treadmill but that didn't do any good for me.
I. Hate. The. Treadmill. I call it the "dreadmill."

The week before - I finally reached my longest distance and shortest time. I ran five miles in 57 minutes. I was proud of myself and I knew right then and there that I had this upcoming 5K in the bag. Little did I know.

Thursday morning -I woke up feeling sick. I couldn't stand or sit still; nor could I eat or drink anything all morning long. In sheer desperation, I decided to drink a warm (room temperature) coca cola and within an hour, I was feeling fine. Later, I went out to Charlotte to volunteer for three hours at a running store to hand out the packets to runners for the Five Kahne. It was a quiet afternoon and I met some of Kahne's friendliest fans who were excited to run.
When I got home, I decided to take the day off from running and any other exercise.

Friday morning - I felt fine but decided to rest in fear I'd get too tired or sick again. Friday evening, I decided to take a hot yoga class. I modified the moves and stretched slowly.

Saturday - I volunteered for Kahne Foundation again and when I got home, I decided to take a third day off from running and exercise. Actually, the only exercise I did get was shopping. I ran from store to store looking for specific running pants to wear because the pants I have couldn't be found anywhere. I feared it would be too cold for shorts- and I have a serious problem. My clothes need to match- and they need to match my compression socks and sneakers. So - I didn't have black shorts that would look nice and match my black Sweat Pink tank top AND 5K t-shirt - - and my Sweat Pink shoe laces.
During my chaotic search for something to wear, my sister called to tell me she couldn't come to the race with me. I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach after that news.
After all that stress -and spending way too much money on running pants, I came home to eat a healthy dinner and rest on the couch while watching the Sprint Cup race on television.
Obviously, when I got to bed, I struggled to fall asleep ...but in the end I managed to get (maybe) five- or six hours of sleep.

Race Day

I woke up after 6:30 and wondered why my alarm hadn't gone off. I thought I set it to 6:30 -but I didn't waste time worry about that - I was nervous about the day ahead. It was gray and gloomy outside and the temperature was perfect for running.
My stomach was in knots. My hands, feet, legs, knees, were numb. I had a good breakfast, a small cup of black coffee and I drank a lot of water. I tried to convince my sister to come out with me but was unsuccessful.
Time moved on quickly. I met some of my writer friends- exchanged a few jokes and laughs and then .....it was time to run.
 As soon as I started to run I was uncomfortable. I have no idea what was wrong with me but I didn't feel good at all. I want to say I was hot, and overdressed, and I had too much in my hands. Didn't I learn in the Fox and Hound 5K to have less in my hands and wear less clothes? What hurt the most was that my body gave up and I had to walk a few times.
 I've been thinking about it a lot; the race just repeats itself over and over again in  my head and I don't know why I didn't feel like I was 'in shape' or trained for this run. I'm somewhat speechless - as you see, it's taken me a week to write about it, and I'm still not sure I'm ready to talk about it. I keep wondering, "was I hydrated enough?"
"Did I sleep enough?"
"Did I eat too much?"
 "Was it really because I was overdressed?" OR - "was I so nervous from all the training, and the anticipation?"
"Did I set my goal too high?" "
 "Did I psych myself out?"
 "Did I train enough?"
"Did I train too much?"
"Was I being so hard on myself that I was leading myself to failure?"
"What could've caused me to feel so awful that I had to walk?"
I wondered, "was it too crowded and did I feel claustrophobic?"
Oh wait I know, writer friend joked with me that my number 37 was the same number for a driver that's a 'start and parker.' That's it, I was doomed by the number 37.
Or maybe I caused my own bad karma by joking that I could match Kahne's time. Is it bad to have that much confidence in myself?

On the bright side, I reached a mile in 9:08 minutes. Okay - that's pretty awesome but I'm cynical so I question, "had I not walked at all, would I have reached a mile in less time?"

The rest of the run was eventful and uncomfortable...I finished in 31:31 minutes. I was disappointed in myself for a few days. I'm slowly finding peace with my bad run.
Sure, it was the fastest I've ever run a 5K but I can't be proud of myself. I don't know if I want to run again.
I tried to run a little bit this past week and I felt fine...so why didn't I feel fine Sunday?
I felt fine when I ran on a non-noteworthy Tuesday night.
On the night I decided to stop writing for Skirts and Scuffs, I felt fine and ran the entire 3 miles.
I felt fine when I ran all those other days...why couldn't I possibly feel fine for the actual day I trained so very long for?
All the days I trained, I thought to myself, maybe I'm ready for a 10K- maybe I'm ready for a half marathon. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.

I'm told there are lots of lessons to be learned from every race and this is what I learned this time:

a) You'll have bad races no matter how hard you train- or how prepared you are. Now that I know I can run 3.1 miles in 31.31 minutes when I feel like crap- I hope that means I can run faster when I feel good!

b) I found out that you can wear compression socks before and after you run- not only during your run. So now this makes shopping for running clothes 100 times easier!

c) I also know to not ever tweet that I can match someone's time or that my favorite football team will beat his team because - well, the Patriots lost to the Seahawks that night. That's a double dose of bad luck in one day, too much for me, that's for sure.


I want to thank all the 'sisters' from my Sweat Pink team for your kind words of encouragement and support. I'm thankful I found a group of wonderful ladies who love to run and exercise and eat as healthy as I like to eat. I hope to one day meet a lot of you and we can all go out for a run somewhere! I'd like you to know that I am looking into running another 5K this November.








2 comments:

jillconyers said...

Honestly I get how you're feeling. I recently had a race that I didn't PR by as much time as I wanted to. It took support and encouragement from my coach to make me focus on what I accomplished rather than what I didn't accomplish.

You should be proud!


Peabea Scribbles said...

You made this old lady tired just reading about your running adventure. Wow...it's awesome that you do this and for a great cause plus for yourself.