NASCAR drivers inspire me

I know someone who likes to remind me that I didn't like NASCAR growing up. As a matter of fact, a lot of people didn't believe I could possibly like racing. They don't understand why I fell so deeply in love with this sport.
 One guy once said, "You don't look like the kind of girl that would like racing."
I'm still trying to figure out what that means.
Other's describe me as a "non-typical race fan."
I don't know what that means either.
I like the competition of racing. I love the loud engines, the speed, and the unpredictable turn of events during a race. I especially like 'restarts;' that's when the cars are all lined up close together and they pick up speed, when sitting in the grandstands, I get a rush as the cars zip by me driving 200 miles per hour.
 Racing is not a black and white kind of sport like weight lifting is. In weight lifting, you either bench press 100 pounds or you don't, whether it's raining, snowing, storming, sunny, night, or day. In racing, weather, temperatures, and time of day change the race, heck even the position of the sun on the track can change how the car handles on the track.
There's something that pulls me in when  I'm at the track, I can't explain what. Have you ever stood somewhere  and felt every part of yourself connected, and completely 'engaged?'
I was sitting on a wall on pit road watching the boys practice last Friday in Martinsville; I was writing in my notebook practice times, their speeds, and my idea's of what I observed around me, at that point, I felt complete. I was focused. I was in control of my thoughts and it wasn't hard to concentrate. Did I mention how loud it is at the track when they guys are out there? Even with all the noise around me, I felt at peace.
On April Fools day, I changed my relationship status on Facebook to engaged. The first thing everyone thought was 'yeah right.' I didn't fool anyone, but in reality, I was engaged.
Dictionary.com defines 'engaged' as: busy, occupied, involved.
I'm engaged to the sport, to writing about the competition and discovering about the teams, the drivers, the race track, the car, the history of the sport, and I look forward to be a part of the sports future.
The more I watch the sport, the  more I write about it, the more inspired I am by the guys.
If you're new to my blog, you need to know that I'm a former fitness competitor. I love to exercise: lift weights,  yoga,  swimming, and I like to run. Competing gave me a chance to model, on stage and in front of a camera, and as much as I loved it, I wasn't inspired the way I'm inspired by these guys who race.
During my competition days, I was training hard to fit in and something didn't click. As much as I loved the girls I trained with, as bad as I wanted to be a part of it, something was missing. I couldn't concentrate. When I was at work, I wanted to be at the gym. Once I got to the gym, I had to train myself to tune out the world, and zone in on my workouts. Doing that on some days was easier then other days. I loved being there, but something, or maybe someone was missing. After awhile,  I left competing behind, I even passed up the chance to become a certified trainer, and a chance to write about the sport.
Working out for me is "me time," and I don't want anyone to interrupt me, I'm a bit selfish in the gym or when it comes time to exercise. So I've continued to work out at my pace, without the pressure to prepare for  a show. Preparing for a show is not as simple as exercising every day, there's a lot involved, so much goes into preparation, I may explain the details in a blog for another day.

Recently, I've been wanting to compete again. Every time I listen to the guys interview about racing, the competition, and how they train for each race, I find myself longing to get back on stage to compete in Fitness again. Somehow, someway, these guys inspire me to train harder at the gym, and a part of me, really wants to get back on stage ...even if it's one more time.

How is that possible? How are NASCAR drivers (whose sport is not even close to fitness competition) inspiring me to want to compete in fitness again?- -As opposed to other bodybuilders? It's not like these drivers are going to suddenly become my biggest fans if I decide to compete again, and it's not like they'll sponsor me either. I'm a journalist, I doubt they care to know who I am when I'm not at the track following them around with my camera and voice recorder. None the less, all of the guys in the NASCAR community inspire me to be a better person, and competitor.

I guess it's something only athletes can understand.  Once a competitor in a sport, always a competitor. I get how competitors think  before they perform, and that you shouldn't bother them before the show, but as a journalist, I 'kinda sorta' have to talk to them. I get how you probably shouldn't bother them after a show either, but as a journalist, I 'kinda sorta' have to.
Or maybe they inspire me because they're men, and being a perfectly healthy heterosexual female, I'm just naturally inspired by men, more so than women. It might be that simple.
They compete to win a race; on a fitness stage, like at Fitness Atlantic, I compete to win.
In racing, these guys compete with 43 other drivers, in fitness, although there are other girls, I compete against myself. I train to beat my last performance, and when I'm on stage, I feel a rush of happiness.
The most liberating thing I've ever done in life was walk on stage in 6 inch heels, in a skimpy, string bikini. I felt vulnerable, but in control at the same time.
Racing is every weekend, as are fitness competitions. The show I wanted to compete in is the same weekend of an important truck race in Rockingham, North Carolina. For someone who is new, and looking to network with industry pro's, it behooves me to be in Rockingham.
When I'm in the media center, I feel the rush, the energy, and happiness I once felt on stage, but it's even better because, I feel complete now. I know the potential to making money, and earning a great living as a NASCAR journalist is much greater then my financially succeeding as a professional fitness competitor.

More importantly, I don't need to be a competitor to look, and live like a fitness model.