Happy to be single and childless at 36

I have long accepted the fact that I am 'childless.' Becoming a mother has never been on the top of my life "to-do" list, or as others would say, the 'bucket list.'
I might have heard my clock tick when I was 21 or 22 years old, but it wasn't loud, nor was it persistent. The thought of motherhood sounds appealing, but it doesn't turn me on, or excite me, nor does it motivate me.
I am a woman with many wants, fortunately, I've narrowed my want list. I have learned that I'm happiest as a writer. I still struggling with finding the balance of adding a few fitness shows, and fitness camps to my busy day job, and writing schedule.
In a perfect world where I have exactly what I want, I'd write about sports (NASCAR), fitness health, as well as train every day for a show or two a year. I don't want to be a full time competitor, as a matter of fact, I don't want to do shows to prove anything, I just love the competitive part of the show. A show is just the icing on the cake, the chance to shine on stage to show off all the hard work. Posing for pictures is the same, especially since you can hold on to those pictures forever.

At 36, I feel sexier, stronger, smarter then I did at 21 years old. Sure I was in tip-top physical shape during my time in competing at ages 25-28. But I wasn't in a happy place in other parts of my life.

Single. I have been single my entire life, not once have I been married nor engaged. I did live with a man for a year, but I was never in love with him. I couldn't fall in love with someone who didn't inspire me, who didn't meet me in the middle, who didn't enjoy time with me...he is someone who wants a girl to come home to at the end of the day. Someone he can look at, and admire her for physical appearance. A barbie doll, yeah, that is what he wants. Someone who just looks pretty and doesn't move.

Cyndi Lauper said it best in her song, 'Girls just want to have fun,' - "Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun."

That's what I want too. Sure I have too many goals, too many favorite hobbies, and I don't want to give that all up for a guy, or a child.
I've heard that if someone gives up a relationship to have a job, or a hobby that they would find themselves lonely in the end.
Well, why do you have to give it up? Why not meet someone that can 'meet you there?'
I believe that if you put someone in a position where they have to pick between their job and a relationship with you, then YOU will find yourself lonely.
Everyone comes with some sort of package. The one you will date in the future has a past, a job, a dreams and if you want to be a part of it, let them pursue their life, and join them for the ride. Don't try to stop them because they will leave you in the end, and they won't miss you, especially when they find success.

It's far worse to be lonely in a relationship then it is to be single.

It's far worse to look at yourself in the mirror, knowing you are not happy because you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) then it is to be doing what you are good at, even if it means not having a boyfriend.

It is far worse to have a boyfriend when the only time you see him is at the end of the day. I would rather sleep alone at night, if it meant that I would wake up the next day to get outside and do the things I love to do with a (boy)friend.

So in the end, I'm content with my single life. I'm happy with the direction I'm heading in. There is so much ahead, and so much in store for me. There's no reason to stop doing what I'm doing.
For those of you who still believe I'll find myself married with children one day, then it'll be because I found someone who I'm able to share my life with, doing what I'm doing now, without giving any of it up. Remember, couples who work out usually have a better sex life anyway.