Tuesday, September 06, 2011

What's your dating style?

The dating game has changed an awful lot these past few years. Today, I honestly tell people who have been married or in a serious committed relationship for more than five years that their advice is outdated. It's not their fault they don't understand dating, at this point, no one does because it's a game.

It seems as though the dating game has gone from being moral and ethical to being open and uninhibited. More and more we see people hop around from one partner to another and people do date more than one person at a time.

I do like to use Sex and the City as an example when it comes to writing about dating but in this blog, I'd like to bring up another movie that I love so much. Often times, girls and I compare ourselves to certain characters so today I'd like to ask, who do you compare to in the movie, "He's just not that into you?"

Gigi: (Ginnifer Goodwin, the narrator of the film) She's naive and hopeless and anxious to fall in love. She's willing to date anyone and every time she meets a man, she hopes he's the one. After a fun date with Conor, he never called her back. So now, Gigi is determined to find the right guy and she makes an absolute fool of herself doing so. She seeks advice from Conor's friend, the bartender at the local bar, Alex ( Justin Long).

Alex: the typical cool bartender, cute and everyone's friend. He loves girls, but, he's in a position where he can meet a lot of girls. He does, after all, own the bar he works in. He's always one to party and is certainly the one that gives Gigi all the guy advice she asks for.

Janine: (Jennifer Connelly). She's an uptight married woman to Ben (Bradley Cooper). She's prim, proper and controlling and manipulating and seems to be more worried about her husband lying about his bad smoking habit than she is about the fact that he cheated on her. In the end, she does ditch her husband.

Ben felt obliged to marry Janine yet he wasn't very happy, so he cheated on her with Anna. He's insecure and to be honest, an outright liar, hence, the reason why he finds his self alone in the end.

Anna: (Scarlette Johanson). She's a pretty blond girl, a yoga instructor and not really ready to commit so she dates guys that are unavailable, including married men like Ben; and ignores the one guy that really likes her, Conor (Kevin Connelly). She does give Conor a chance but she feels suffocated and in the end, she stays single.

Conor: is in love with Anna and can't read her mixed messages. He's a Real Estate Agent and will try anything to sell houses, apartments, including getting in on the 411 on homosexuals, because they will buy nice homes. No, he's not thinking of jumping the fence, he just realizes that being hetrosexual is confusing. Women send such mixed messages. He does over the phone and internet business with Anna's friend, Mary. Yet, he's never met her.

Mary: (Drew Barrymore) is an optimistic, creative, artsy kind of girl and works in advertising for a local newspaper.She spends a lot of time on the internet (ok, Myspace) and she's open to dating, especially online. Yet her prospects seem to be nothing more than a good internet conversation. She has the best of the best line in the movie ... so I thought I'd add the video.


Beth: (Jennifer Ainston) She's dating Neil (Ben Affleck) and has been for 7 years. She wants to get married but he doesn't, so she leaves him. Her sister is getting married and she has to be strong without Neil during the wedding. She meets single guys, but, they are such geeks. Her dad then has a heart attack, so she naturally takes care of him. Her sisters and their husbands are around to help, but all they do is watch football, drink beer and leave a mess. Suddenly, Beth realizes that Ben is more of a husband then real, actual live husbands are. Why? Because he came around to help her around her dads house, when no one else was sober enough to do their share AND she never asked him to come over, he just showed up.

Neil: is absolutely in love with Beth. However, he doesn't believe in marriage. He's convinced the only people who do get married are insecure and do it to validate their relationship, want an expensive over the top meaningless wedding and want to have the 'husband/wife' title. He's happy with Beth and is willing to be with her forever but, without the marriage.

In the end, Mary and Conor meet and start to date. As far Gigi is concerned, does she meet the love of her life? Maybe, you'll just have to watch it if you haven't yet and  what happens to Neil and Beth?  Do they split for good? Do they go back to dating? Or do they get married? Watch the movie, trust me, you'll relate and you'll laugh.

If you really want to know, I was told by a friend I was most like Mary. I'm flattered because I see the connection. I believe I'm a combination of Mary and Anna. I've never dated a married man...but I still have a tendency to date emotionally unavailable men.

 Dating can be fun but it's also a game. People sleep around with more people and some have two partners or more at about the same time. Dating without the commitment is far too common. I'm not so sure I have it in me to play the game....but it's a new season and I'm ready for a new life.

So tell me, what's your dating style?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this movie! Which character do you most relate to? (I am more like Ginnifer Goodwin's...total hopeless romantic...only not as desperate, thank God.) That said, I love how she evolves in that film. :)

Unknown said...

I really think I'm more of Mary....sure I share traits with Anna but the more I watch the movie, the more I see myself as Mary!

Anonymous said...

Mary is awesome! She's probably the most down-to-earth one (in her fabulously artsy way). ;) Very cool. Ha! Now I want to see that movie again!

Peabea Scribbles said...

Yep...been married 48 years this year so I'm way out of touch. Dating definitely has changed since my day, but I enjoyed reading and I have seen the movie. :-)