So, you want to date a model,

Hey Guys, so you want to date a drop dead gorgeous model? Well, listen up.

In my experience in modeling since grade school, I've met a lot of beautiful girls (and women). The one thing each and every one of us who have modeled in fashion or fitness have dealt with a lot of criticism; it seems like:
1. Everyone seems to want to tell us how to eat
2. Everyone wants to tell us how to put on our make up or how to dress
3. Every guy wants to be with us, yet, when they see the hard work we have to put in to be successful in modeling, they cry, complain, put up a fight and one of us has to end the relationship.

Men are visual creatures. They love beautiful women and we can accept that. However guys, if you want a beautiful woman by your side and one that's in modeling there's a lot you need to learn about the field and if you can't accept that, then forget your dreams of hooking up with a model.

Women who look like this - - - >

don't eat at places like McDonald's or in the south, Bojangles; nor do they eat at Chinese restaurants. Most models don't drink alcohol and if she's a fitness model, ha ha, forget it. Her life is tied up in the gym and her meals are planned very carefully.
Fitness models eat extremely healthy and it isn't until you're actually dieting for a show that you can honestly understand how hard it is.
I've heard a thousand, or maybe a million, rude comments about a fitness (or bodybuilders) diet and to be honest with you, it's pathetic.
I have never in my life understood why people think it's okay to be rude about a healthy person's diet; or even a vegetarian's diet. I'm going to take a risk and say this, it's never okay to make fun of over weight people or to make fun the way they eat; it's never okay to comment on their lack of discipline or lack of education on eating for good health so in return, it's not okay to make fun of a person's motivation, discipline and decision to lead a healthier life; whether they are dieting for a fitness/bodybuilding show; or choosing to be vegetarian or even a vegan, it's their decision and it should be respected.
However, men who date women who live this way find it in themselves to try to change that about her. It's disturbing.
Fitness models also spend a lot of time in the gym. Their routine often look like this:
5 to 7 A.M gym- cardio session...6 to 8 or 9, or 10 P.M - weight lifting M, W, F
5 A.M. gym - cardio/dance session - 6 P.M to 8/9 or 10 P.M stage preparation, Tues/Sunday
5 to 7 AM gym - cardio/dance session ....6 to 8/9/10 P.M yoga/pilate's or aerobics class
That's just a quick look at what my schedule used to looked like when I was training. There was always an exercise to do; a routine to practice; a tanning session to go to; a salon trip to keep up with manicured nails or a hair cut. There were also times we attended fitness camps; or classes; nutrition seminars and photo shoots; when it was the week of the show, dieting became more strict and regulated and pampering became more frequent with shaving every inch of my body and then painting it with tanning lotions that you don't find in CVS but in certain stores that cater to fitness and bodybuilder's. I didn't even mention my day job, but most women who compete have day jobs and that's what an amateur's schedule looks like. If they want to move on and become professionals, they then have to take the time to look for sponsors, so I bet you can't guess what a professional's schedule is like.

A professional athlete has sponsor's and they must meet their sponsor's demands. Most often they have to make public appearences, interviews, do photo shoots for advertising the sponsor's product and depending who the athlete is and who the sponsor is, there are commercials. Once a professional athlete does make it, they become branded and are controlled by agents and P.R (public relations) rep's.

The common rule to dating is to date within your own life style. Athletes date athletes; it's the smart thing to do. Sure, sometimes opposites attract but in reality, to date your opposite isn't easy.
One question I do have is, should a pro date an amatuer? I guess that's between the two of them but I see it being both a good combination and a disaster; sometimes, there can only be one star in the relationship.
Common sense is that if you don't like the way a person is living before you start to date them, then don't date them. The truth is, women sometimes can change but for the most part, they probably won't. Especially the one's that have already led disciplines lives. The fact is, most men do not change.

Guys, if you think a woman is high maintenance before you date her, why on earth would you think she'll change once she meets you and for the love of God, why would you want her to start eating less healthy?

If you're idea of a hot date is at Cracker Barrel or some fast food chain, then you're probably not going to get to go out with a fitness model and if that's what you want, then ask your self a few questions,
* Can you handle a woman who is self disciplined, motivated, committed, and energetic?
*Can you handle a woman who is a part of something big and even bigger than herself? *Can you handle a woman who is always getting her picture taken, or in the lime light, or has a lot of male fans?
*Can you handle a woman who is up early, in the gym before work or goes to the gym after work? As well as work her day job?
*Can you handle a woman who is always watching what she eats, drinks and wears?
*Can you handle the expenses you're amateur model girlfriend has to bare with until she finds a sponsor that'll pay well?
*Can you handle helping her out to find a sponsor (that does pay well) because those guys are hard to find.

If so, then maybe a model, or a gorgeous model look alike is for you. If not, then don't waste your time, stop dreaming about this slim, slender babe with the perfect body; she isn't right for you.

Here's another tip. Most girls/women who were once a part of this field will have that life style locked in their mentality and although some, (especially me) have fallen off their healthy eating and living lifestyles, doesn't mean they'll never go back. Some women, like myself, have participated in the fitness modeling sport because it's a fun hobby to have. Turning it into a career is hard and sometimes, it's not necessary to do so; the experience itself is worth it and it leads to positive rewards in the long run. I've learned valuable life lessons during my competition days that I would've never learned elsewhere.

In conclusion, obesity is a big problem in America. It's not okay to not be UN-healthy; it's not okay to be overweight, especially if you're a kid; it's not okay to eat fried foods or packaged fat foods like boxed potato's or Hamburger Helper. It's not okay to compromise you're health to save a dollar at the grocery store either. More importantly, poor eating can give you high-blood pressure and high cholesterol and it can break your immune system; notice how people who don't eat or live healthy are usually the ones with the most colds, flu's and other illnesses? I've noticed it.

Not all men are going to date women who are beautiful enough to contend in modeling, let alone actually make it to the pro's.

Next time, I'll write about "So, you want to date a writer..."

Guys: It is about the diamond

On my ride to work Tuesday morning, the radio guys were talking about something interesting (for once). They asked their (female) listeners, "Would you rather wait for your boyfriend to propose to you when he can afford a big gorgeous ring or would you be happy if he bought what he could afford?"

My answer to that is: "There's no rush when it comes to marriage. If you plan to be with this person for the rest of your life, then it shouldn't hurt to wait. Guys, buy her the ring of her dreams.
Also, if I'm going to be with a man forever, and start cleaning up after him; cooking for him; washing his dirty boxers and socks and living my life around him, then yeah, he better buy the diamond of my dreams!"

I discussed this with my single girl friends at lunch that day and they agreed that he should save his money and take the time to buy the ring of their dreams. One girl mentioned, "but if it's a difference between 1 carat and a 5 carat then I'll be happy with the 1 carat."

I agree with her. It's not always going to be about a big carat diamond but it has to at least be a carat; at least something to make her heart beat; to make her feel like you think of her as the only girl in the world.

A few years ago, on Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) got engaged to Aiden; he bought her a ring that she thought was ugly and it was one she didn't want. That said something to her and as you all know, they broke off their relationship.
You may be squirming in your seat about this but the truth is guys, if you want to be with her forever and you don't even know what kind of diamond she likes, it forces us to ask, "Do you even pay attention to me at all?"


As I mentioned above, it's not always going to be about the carat, not every girl wants a Harry Winston, or Tiffany's or even Ivanka Trump; it's more about the style. When buying a diamond, remember the four C's: Cut, Color, Clarity and Carat.

CUT: The most important is the cut, that's what she finds beautiful, every girl has different taste in what a gorgeous diamond is. The cuts are Round Brilliant, Emerald, Square Emerald, Oval, Pear, Cushion, Marquise, Radiant, and Heart.
COLOR: Diamonds are transparent with hints of color; the most clear diamonds are rare; Harry Winston sells the rarest of diamonds which makes it more valuable. There are also fancy colored rings as such as yellow, pink and blue; the quality is judged on their intensity and hue and unlike white diamonds, the more color, the more rare.
CLARITY: The clarity of the ring is harder to determine with the naked eye. Professionals, also known as gemologist, in jewelry stores are trained to help you out; when looking at a diamond with a magnifying glass you can see that they have identifying characteristics; the "inclusions" (known as natures birthmarks) look like tiny crystals, clouds or feathers.
CARAT: Diamonds are measured in carat weight which is in points, each carat equals a 100 points or a 1/5 of a gram. The larger the diamond, the more rare it is to find. The brilliance of a carat vary greatly depending on the proportion and cut. Diamond experts at Harry Winston say that to determine your diamond by weight alone is a poor guide for value. It's the complex combination of the cut, color clarity and carat weight that make the diamond beautiful.

Then there's the other question, do you buy a diamond on a silver, white gold or gold ring? That all depends on her taste. The easy answer is, look in her jewelry box and take note if she has more silver or gold.

No matter what a woman's style is, whether she's quiet or blunt about it, she loves diamonds. Some may want a smaller simple cut and that's okay; others may want more.
Some women may not even want a ring at all, they may prefer a shoe instead.







For more information on diamonds you can check out Harry Winston or Ivanka Trump and Tiffany websites.

A night out with the Bobcats

It was another typical Monday at work; I had finished everything I needed to do and I was logging off and getting myself together to go home, thoughts of a vegetarian gluten free spaghetti dinner were dancing in my head and I couldn't wait to get home to relax. That's when a co-worker asked, "What are you doing tonight?"
He gave me two tickets to see the Bobcats play in Charlotte. I wasn't ready for a night out in the QC, I had on a business suit and uncomfortable old heels but I was excited and grateful for his offer, this was my very first NBA game in my life (did I ever mention I'm from Boston? Yeah, I've skipped many Celtics games).
After texting a few people, I found someone to go to the game with; I ran home to change and came back to the city to find out that I would be joining a group of people to the game.
When we arrived, I sat in my seat amused with my surroundings. The first thought that ran through my mind was, "thank goodness I've never seen the Celtics play!"
Why, you ask. Well my friends, first and most important, The Garden is much bigger then Time Warner and secondly, I just didn't want to spend the night comparing and contrasting. For some odd reason or another, I didn't feel like I was at a Pro-Basketball game. I also know for a fact that the Garden during Celtics game would never be as empty as Time Warner was.
I always know that buying food, drinks and beer is expensive at these venues and events so it sucked that I had to buy dinner at the arena. I hate paying too much money for junk food; plus, now that I have to watch what I eat and try to be as gluten free as possible, it makes going out to dinner harder on me (I love going out to dinner too). I bit the bullet and had pizza anyway. It was an exciting game with lots of energy and excitement; from the dancing poodles to the Bobcat mascot Rufus; to Cats Crew and to the Ladycats; we eventually won with a fight and I left the arena happy.
I got home to kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes; a dishwasher filled with clean dishes; my laundry was still in the dryer and my article for Skirts and Scuffs wasn't finished; everything I had intended on doing wasn't done but I forgave myself. Sometimes in life you just need to put aside the chores and live for those once in a lifetime opportunities; who knows when I'll ever get a chance to go to a Bobcats game for free again.
Since I've moved to Charlotte, my life has been busy and exciting. It's not a perfect life and I still have a lot of work to do to get myself back on the wagon I was once living on two years ago but in the end, I'm happy. A lot of people were in my shoes these past two years with the whirlwind of a failing economy and a roller coaster ride of dead end meaningless low paying temp jobs. I'm now a bit more stable then I've been with my new day job. Things are looking up and that's all that matters. It makes my journey in writing so much easier now that I have a steady income but more importantly, now that I work for a company that I'm proud to be employed by and who knows where this journey will lead to? I'm pretty positive that it can only get better from here on out.
The Queen City is a hopping place and there's so much to do, I can't help but notice that there are a lot of famous people in the city. I'm 'amped' to be a part of it all! So the next time I see the Bobcats play, I hope it's against the Celtics. Which leads me to: Michael Jordon part owns the Bobcats. Shaq O'Neil plays for the Celtics. So, who would you rather have on your team?